Spectacles Suck.

Have you ever attempted to “get physical” with someone while wearing glasses? Well, it sucks. Either you’re pursuing a blurred out silhouette of someone hoping they’re dominant enough to show you around, or you’re attempting to stick your lips out enough, so they don’t smudge your glasses. Either way, it’s sort of a lose-lose situation. Well, this is my new episode of “things I like to complain about.” Glasses seemed fitting for the first one.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people tell me they want glasses. Why would you ever want to have glasses by choice? So, I am here to inform people who say they want glasses why they shouldn’t want them.

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First off, if you enjoy being able to see in a steamy room or when you go from the cold outside to the toasty inside, then glasses aren’t for you. I don’t care how patient you think you are, waiting for them to defrost is enough to make anyone snap. Try being late for work and convincing your boss you’ve just been hanging in the back room when it looks like a hungover ghost threw up on your lenses. It’s IMPOSSIBLE.

Second of all, all those romantic movies where you kiss in the rain isn’t in your future. You can hardly kiss with glasses on, let alone kiss in the rain. Walking in the rain or snow is next to impossible to add to it. You continually have to wipe your lens and hope you don’t walk into some blurry lit traffic. Five minutes into walking you’ll be cursing the God’s for not creating eyeglass wipers.

Thirdly, 3D movies are more like 4D movies, for your four eyes. Stacking two sets of glasses so you can attempt to enjoy this movie experience sucks. You look weird, but even more, you feel uncomfortable attempting to level the two sets of frames. Clearly, a huge factor to consider. Also, you have to buy prescription sunglasses AND normal glasses. If you’re a struggling student like me, you have to stack your dollar-store glasses on your normal glasses. MADNESS.

Go ahead and comment about contacts or laser eye surgery! I have a massive phobia of eyedrops. Like not even a “Birdbox” attempt at opening my eyes could work to get eye drops in there. I might actually die of panic if someone attempts it. Laser eye surgery seems great until you see the price. OSAP isn’t going to cover that one. But hey as an aspiring blogger and artist the glasses fit. It gives me an air of sophistication and apparently makes me look like less of a pretentious bitch. If that’s your goal, glasses are for you!


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