I swear this blog moves from sarcastic to inspirational with the flip of a category. This is the second blog post of “Self(ie) Care”, where I hope to change people’s views on self-care. I find too many people overgeneralize self-care with strictly skin care. Like I said in my last post, those lush bath bombs and face masks might be great in the moment, but they won’t fix all your problems. Also if you do plan on only focusing on skin care coconut oil is the bomb and drinking water surprisingly works.
I want to take a major focus on toxic relationships. Yeah, I know moving from eliminating negative speech to removing toxic people is a big step, but it needs to be done.
I spent a lot of time surrounding myself with people who were miserable with their lives because I felt I related. Like great, people who hate their lives, complain all the time and refuse to change! RETWEET.
But in all honesty when you are toxic yourself surrounding yourself with people in the same negative situation is way worse. It just fed into my negative and depressed mindset. It gave me a victim mentality which made me feel helpless and unable to fix myself.
Anyways, I began to start following people on social media I aspired to be. I mean cutting out an entire group of friends is not something you can do overnight! (unless you really don’t like them). But I was able to change who I chose to idolize. I moved from following models, famous singers/actors and just rich people I envied, to following accounts like @bossbitch.inc and blogger pages. People and pages I felt inspired me and motivated me. My timeline became something I was able to not only relate to but attain. Realistically, I am not going to be Miley Cyrus but I could become a business owner. This was one simple step towards cutting out toxic people.
I began to start going to events that like-minded people attended. By this I mean, I went to poetry slams and school readings to start meeting people who were interested in things similar to me. This was a big step since most of the people I met were from the bar and the only thing we had in common was alcohol. I slowly began to distance myself from these people by consuming my time with things I enjoyed, instead of drinking away things I didn’t. Don’t get me wrong I wasn’t an alcoholic but the bouncers didn’t need my ID to let me into the clubs. So, same same really.
Next thing you know I am beginning to be inspired and feeling happy after hanging out with these people. Feelings I didn’t really think would be related to friends. My conversations with them were fulfilling and intriguing. We spoke about politics, art, who inspired us and it felt like my mind was opening. THATS THE JUICY SHIT PEOPLE. Like when you feel a connection intellectually instead of over a straight shot of tequila, it’s real.
I sadly lost a lot of people at this point. But losing them allowed me to find myself. Cliche but true. I hope they were able to find themselves as well. Sometimes you need to remember you can change anything you want in your life (kinda I can’t change my school debt but whatever). You don’t feel happy with the people you have in your life? Leave. No one deserves a reason but yourself.
Life of A Speck 